Let’s be honest for a moment. We all know what it feels like to be scrolling Instagram minding your business and suddenly — there it is. A picture, a life update, a success story, a lifestyle shot… and something inside you tightens.
You don’t even need words. Your body reacts before your mind can catch up.
A sting. A pit in your stomach. A subtle sense of despair. And then the thoughts begin:
“They are so lucky.”
“I’m behind.”
“I should have had that by now.”
“It’s too late for me.”
“I am a failure.”
Most people shut the app before they even finish feeling the feeling. They distract themselves. Shame themselves. Pretend they’re “above” jealousy. But what happened to me recently cracked my entire identity open.
And it might crack yours too — in the most healing way.
THE MOMENT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING
I had an intuition — a weird, almost magnetic pull — to go check the Instagram profile of someone who usually triggers jealousy in me.
I didn’t know why. I just followed the pull. The moment I landed on their page, I felt the familiar punch in my chest. But this time around, I grabbed my notebook and started writing the exact thoughts that came up:
- They are so lucky.
- I am a failure.
- It’s too late for me.
- Even if I get everything I want, it should’ve happened years ago.
Then I stopped at the first thought: “They are so lucky.”
And I asked myself:
“Why do I believe that?”
What came out of me… shocked me. A full page of reasons. Raw, painful, brutal honesty I didn’t even know I was carrying. I tried to find one reason to uplift myself, and I couldn’t. My chest hurt. My throat tightened. It was too much. And I stopped.
Not because I was weak. But because I was touching something deeper than I’d ever allowed myself to feel.
This… ladies… was not jealousy. It was grief. Fear. Self-judgment. A story I had been living under without ever questioning it. And this is where the transformation began.
THE TRUTH ABOUT JEALOUSY THAT NO ONE TEACHES YOU
Jealousy is not the enemy. Jealousy is not a flaw. Jealousy is not immaturity or pettiness. Jealousy is a messenger.
It is your soul screaming:
“Pay attention. This matters to you.
This is what you desire.
This is who you want to become.”
The problem is not the jealousy. The problem is that most people never stop to listen to it. They run away. They numb themselves with distractions, busyness, social activities etc. They shame themselves into silence. And they miss the message.
But when you sit with jealousy — without judging it, without resisting it — something extraordinary happens:
It stops hurting you… and starts guiding you.
WHY JEALOUSY FEELS SO PAINFUL
Because underneath jealousy there is almost always:
- A fear of being behind
- A fear of being too late
- A fear that your moment has passed
- A belief that “others get what I never will”
- A grief for the timeline you think you should’ve been on
Jealousy is never about the other person. It is a mirror showing you what you hunger for, and the wounds you’ve attached to that desire.
THE MOST TRANSFORMATIVE PART: THE RITUAL
This is the exact practice that shifted me from pain… into power. And when you do it, your relationship with jealousy will never be the same.
1. NOTICE THE SIGNAL
Instead of running away, pause. Acknowledge the feeling.
Say: “I feel jealous. And that’s okay.”
Already, you’re breaking the pattern.
2. NAME THE DESIRE UNDERNEATH
Ask yourself: “What do they have that I deeply want?”
Be honest. Maybe it’s:
- freedom
- money
- visibility
- success
- beauty
- confidence
- love
- creativity
- recognition
- peace
This step is gold.
3. SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM COMPARISON
Write this down:
“Their path is theirs. My path is mine. My desire belongs to me, not them.”
4. TAKE ONE SMALL STEP
Ask:
“What is one tiny action I can take toward my desire today?”
Not a big step. A gentle one.
5. GRATITUDE & RELEASE
Place your hand on your chest. Breathe. Say:
“Thank you, jealousy, for showing me what matters. I see my desire clearly now.”
This is how jealousy becomes your compass.
WHAT I DISCOVERED AFTER DOING THIS
I realized something shocking:
I wasn’t jealous of their life. I was jealous of what their life represented to me.
Freedom.
Being seen.
Being chosen.
Being recognized.
Timing aligning.
Being in your power.
This entire time… I was grieving at my own potential. And the jealousy wasn’t punishing me. It was trying to wake me up.
THIS IS WHY THIS WORK MATTERS
Because jealousy is one of the most taboo emotions. People are ashamed of it.
They hide it. But jealousy is often the first sign that you’re outgrowing your current self.
It shows you:
- Where you want to evolve
- Where your soul is calling you
- Which identity you’re stepping into next
- What you are finally ready to claim for yourself
If you have the courage to sit with jealousy… you have the courage to transform your life.
FINAL INVITATION
Next time jealousy rises, don’t run. Don’t shame yourself. Don’t pretend you don’t feel it.
Sit.
Listen.
Learn.
Because jealousy is not here to hurt you. It is here to guide you home — to your desires, your next evolution, and the version of you who finally stops shrinking.
I’m creating a special eBook with deeper exercises, reflection prompts, and rituals to help you turn jealousy into clarity, alignment, and power.
But for now…
Start here.
Start with courage.
Start with curiosity.
Start by listening to the messenger your soul has been sending all along.
Salima
Just me thinking out loud over here