Last night, dear reader, the city didn’t sleep.
The SWAT, FBI, CIA, Interpol, and even the KGB (don’t ask how they got here so fast) were mobilized. Helicopters circled, red and blue lights flashed, boots hit the pavement. You’d think a dangerous mastermind had been cornered. Weapons drawn, radios crackling, agents whispering codes no one understood.
But the target wasn’t hiding diamonds, nuclear secrets, or stolen art. It was two men. Two very dangerous men.
Their crime? Making me lose my absolute mind with music.
The raid location: a quiet music studio. The suspects: Khalid and Michael Kiwanuka.
Caught rehearsing together. Together! As if the world wasn’t already chaotic enough when they sing alone.
The door slammed open.
“Hands in the air!” The agents shouted.
Khalid, wide-eyed, still holding his mic. Michael clutching to his guitar like it might protect him.
Both confused. Both guilty. Both were taken into custody—musical instruments seized as evidence.
And where were they transported? To my castle, of course.
Picture it: me, sitting on a velvet throne, bewildered at their audacity. How dare they rehearse unsupervised? How dare they unleash that combination of soulful thunder and velvet smoothness on the world without warning?
No, no, no. Not happening. Not on my watch. Verdict: Guilty.
So here they are now, sentenced for life. Not behind bars, oh no. Something worse (for them, delightful for me): singing forever in my private music hall. Not on stages, not on tours, not on streaming platforms. No. Only here, inside my castle, where their voices belong.. Every note, every harmony, every line—mine.
And should you wonder whether this punishment is cruel, let me tell you—if you heard what I heard, you’d have called in the SWAT team too.
Reader, I won’t lie to you. It’s madness. It’s an obsession. But tell me… could you have resisted?
✨ Soft closing note
We all have our “music hostages”—the artists who sing us straight into our bones, the voices that refuse to leave our minds. Mine just happens to require an international task force. Who are yours?
In case you are wondering, I am well, I have ten fingers, ten toes. I don’t drink alcohol, so I am not drunk writing, I am not high, I don’t do drugs. But the French Say: “chacun a droit à cinq minutes de folie.” Which translates as everyone is entitled to their five minutes of madness. And I intend to use those five minutes fully. Every day.
Now, let’s come back to earth and leave the drama behind. The above? Just me mixing up my love for crime shows, unique music, and storytelling. We all need a playlist for the soul—artists whose songs stir something deep inside us, make us feel alive. These two incredible artists do that for me all the time, and I am endlessly thankful for the gift of hearing. Without it, I would have missed discovering what humans are truly capable of in the musical field.
So, without further ado, let’s review the Most Wanted List:
1. Michael Kiwanuka – Cold Little Heart
First offender. This is not just a song—it’s an emotional ambush. You put it on, and suddenly you’re staring out the window like you’re in a movie about heartbreak and redemption. Arrest him immediately. Sentence: lifetime imprisonment in my mansion, required to sing this forever.
2. Emeli Sandé – My Kind of Love
Exhibit B. How dare she? That voice pierces the soul like a thousand golden arrows. It’s too much. She has no business sounding like that. Maximum sentence: solitary confinement… but in a velvet-lined recording booth where she’s forced to keep delivering vocals.
3. Fantasia – When I See U
Case closed. This is pure romantic chaos. You hear it once, and suddenly you’re writing love letters to people you haven’t even met yet. Fantasia, you are guilty. Punishment: a 24/7 live concert streamed exclusively to me.
4. Ed Sheeran – Overpass Graffiti
Repeat offender. This song is nostalgia wrapped in neon lights. He drops it and suddenly you’re walking under late-night city skies, holding onto memories you didn’t even know you had. Ed, sir, you are under arrest. Sentence: community service writing sad-but-beautiful anthems forever.
5. Selena Gomez – Lose You To Love Me
First-time offender turned instant legend. How dare she? That voice slices straight through your chest and sits there for a while, making you confront feelings you didn’t even know existed. Sentence: permanent residency in my listening room, singing whenever heartbreak season strikes.
6. Jack Savoretti – Breaking The Rules
Exhibit C. Rebel alert. This one makes you want to throw all the rule books out the window and chase after every forbidden dream. Sentence: must perform a private rooftop concert for me every month… preferably under the stars.
7. Jonathan Roy – Keeping Me Alive
Case file: pure life support. You press play and suddenly the world is brighter, your chest lighter, your soul humming. Jonathan, you are guilty. Sentence: eternal accompaniment to my mornings, afternoons, and whenever I need a reminder of hope.
8. Slimane – Mon Amour
Exhibit D. Smooth, intense, unrelenting. One note and you’re completely lost in love. Sentence: handcuffed to a grand piano in my castle, tasked with serenading me daily.
9. Slimane – Le Vide
Repeat offender. A haunting echo that leaves you standing alone in the rain, wondering if the world will ever feel this poetic again. Sentence: lifetime performance in a velvet-lined soundproof room… for my private listening pleasure.
10. Vast – One More Day
Final offender for now. Heartbreak wrapped in cinematic soundscapes. Every listen feels like an entire movie condensed into five minutes. Sentence: must perform exclusively for me at sunset, on repeat, for the foreseeable future.
11. Vast – Winter In My Heart
Exhibit final (but far from least). This song is an emotional blizzard that hits your soul like a frostbite you secretly love. One listens and you’re wandering the streets in slow motion, holding a cup of something warm, staring at city lights, thinking about every lost moment and dream. Sentence: confined to my castle’s music hall, performing for me in an endless winter loop.
Salima
Just me thinking out loud over here