Inspired by Haemin Sunim’s book “Love for Imperfect Things”
There’s a line in Haemin Sunim’s book that has stayed with me for weeks:
“Be good to yourself first, then to others.”
It sounds simple — almost too simple — until you realize how often we forget to do it.
Sometimes being good to yourself isn’t about doing more — it’s about saying less.
In this month’s reflection, I share how one simple practice — choosing silence over gossip — helped me reclaim my peace and mental space. Inspired by Haemin Sunim’s gentle wisdom, this piece is a reminder that protecting your energy is one of the deepest forms of self-love.
For me, being good to myself has translated into one powerful commitment: not adding wood to the fire that burns me.
Since September, I’ve been intentionally choosing restrain and silence over gossip — refusing to engage in conversations that drain my peace or distract me from the kind of person I’m becoming. It’s such a small shift on the surface, but it has completely changed the atmosphere of my mind.
There was a time when I would hear or see something and feel the urge to share it — to comment, to analyze, to add my perspective. But lately, I’ve been asking myself: For what?
To prove a point? To be right? To have confirmation that someone is as bad as I thought?
And then what? Nothing changes — except I feel heavier inside.
We spend so much of our lives talking about things that don’t move us forward, don’t add value, don’t transform us. The illusion is that these conversations connect us; the truth is, they often disconnect us from ourselves.
Choosing not to participate has given me something priceless — mental space.
A clearer mind. A quieter heart. A lighter energy. It’s as if I’m reclaiming the air that gossip once took from my lungs.
Being good to myself now means protecting my peace, not feeding the fire. It means understanding that not every observation deserves an audience, and not every story is mine to tell.
When I hold back from gossip, I am not suppressing myself — I am saving myself.
So, if you’re reading this, I invite you to try it too. Practice being good to yourself in ways that bring you peace, not pride. Protect your energy as sacredly as you protect your time.
Because sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself… is to stay silent when silence keeps your soul warm.
🌿Mantra: I do not add wood to fires that do not warm me.
Journaling Corner: Reflection for the Month
Take a quiet moment for yourself — maybe with tea, soft music, or in the early morning stillness — and reflect on what being good to yourself means. Let these prompts guide you:
- What conversations, habits, or situations drain my peace — and how can I gently step back from them?
- When was the last time I chose silence and felt peace afterward? What did that moment teach me?
- How can I practice being good to myself daily — not out of selfishness, but out of self-respect?
- What kind of energy do I want to bring into my interactions this month?
Write freely, without judgment. Let your answers unfold like petals. 🌸
The moment you stop feeding the fire, you begin to heal.
Salima
Just me thinking out loud over here