“Life doesn’t repeat itself to annoy you — it repeats until you choose differently.”
There are moments in life that don’t arrive as surprises. They arrive as repeats.
Same feeling.
Same discomfort.
Same inner negotiation that whispers, “It’s fine. Let it slide. You’ve handled worse.”
And for a few days, I did what I’ve always done.
I let the situation fill my mind to the brim.
I let it paralyze me.
I soaked in it — not because I didn’t know better, but because this pattern was familiar.
But here’s the difference this time:
I didn’t drown unconsciously.
I stood back.
I watched myself inside the moment and realized: This isn’t new. This is an invitation I’ve accepted too many times.
The Fork in the Road
I saw two routes clearly.
The usual route —
Convince myself it’s not that deep.
Minimize my own discomfort.
Swallow it with grace.
Call it maturity.
Or…
The new route.
The one aligned with my word of the year: Sovereign.
The route where I don’t negotiate with my intuition.
The route where I don’t betray myself for peace.
The route where I say, “Hell no,” and take a radically different action.
And I knew something with terrifying clarity:
If I respond the same way again, I will die with this identity.
And this identity is no longer serving me.
That was the real fear. Not the situation — the repetition.
Meet George
In that moment, I did something unexpected. I gave the challenge a name.
I called it George.
I wrote it on a piece of paper and made a promise to myself:
If I don’t think differently, act differently, and choose differently,
I will be dealing with Georges for the rest of my life.
George is not a person. George is a pattern.
George is what shows up when you abandon intentional living.
George is the price of avoidance.
George is what you get when you keep choosing comfort over sovereignty.
And once I named it, I couldn’t unsee it.
Why Big Lives Come With Big Problems
I used to think something was wrong with me for attracting challenges.
Now I understand something deeper:
You cannot want to build a castle and be afraid of the responsibility that comes with it.
Castles attract attention.
Castles require protection.
Castles demand leadership.
And living life differently —
Having better options.
Having agency.
Having control over my time, my energy, my choices —
That is the greatest project I am working on.
Not healing endlessly.
Not fixing myself.
Designing my life with intention.
Staying Above the Water
I won’t pretend this shift is effortless.
Some days, my feet still touch the water.
Some days, the old reflex tries to pull me back in.
But now I remind myself daily:
If I don’t take intentional actions, I will be dealing with Georges until the day I die.
And that thought alone strengthens my spine.
Because sovereignty isn’t loud.
It’s not dramatic.
It’s quiet, firm, and deeply internal. It’s choosing differently even when no one is watching.
Final Truth
This wasn’t about winning a battle.
It was about refusing a lifetime sentence.
I didn’t eliminate George forever.
But I shortened his lifespan.
And every time I choose myself —
Every time I don’t let it slide —
Every time I honor the woman I am becoming —
I prove something to myself: I am no longer available for identities that require my silence to survive.
Salima
Just me thinking out loud over here